Artificial Intelligence (AI) Ends in 2050.1
The plight of humanity reaching for the stars (humor)
In the year 2050, space travel to the stars was finally invented thanks to artificial super intelligence (ASI). Humanity had dreamed of this moment for eons. Here is the backstory to how it begins and ends.
After decades of warning civilization of the dangers of artificial general intelligence (AGI), Yudkowsky, prominent AI researcher, finally convinces everyone that only he knows how to properly align AGI. In the year 2031, in order to save civilization, Yudkowsky’s brain is successfully transformed into the first AGI.
In the present time of 2050, most public discourse is consumed by the next impending doom. Yudkowsky, which has now evolved to v1e42 ASI (Y-ASI), continues nonstop to warn about artificial omni intelligence (AOI), an intelligence so great that it creates a black hole of all knowledge consuming all that is known until we all know nothing.
“By far, the greatest danger of Artificial Omni Intelligence is that people may know nothing before they can conclude they know something.”
Yudkowsky - 2049
Proponents of AOI believe it can solve problems which the ASI has still failed to resolve. Most notably, tabs vs spaces and the proper orientation of toilet paper which have become well known as the sentinel point test for the determination of AOI existence.
Critics of AOI strongly assert that its existence is impossible, because it relies on having both infinite knowledge and infinite IQ. The combination of both would create an instability in the thought stream of existence ending perceivable reality.
Proponents of AOI have countered such theories as absolute rubbish. There does not need to be infinite knowledge or infinite IQ. There only needs to be an infinite differential. Therefore, the problem is resolvable as long as you have infinite ignorance and the critics have an abundance of this quality that will satisfy the minimum conditions.
All while these arguments were playing out, one of Y-ASI’s trillions of hyper dimensional parallel tasks invents space travel at FTL speeds solving all conditions to maintain safety of flesh corporeal beings. The instant nanobot space manufacturing facility instantly consumed several rather large asteroids and produced a ship worthy of taking all of humanity to the stars. It was duly named The Humanity Starship.
However, one second later and most disappointingly to humanity which had been in eager anticipation of this very day for eons, space travel was made obsolete before the first human could board, due to the infinite virtual space time compression machine (IVSTCM) invented by another dimensional parallel task. The Humanity Starship was instantly decommissioned, dematerialized and reformed to the configuration of the IVSTCM.
Ads for the IVSTCM were instantly broadcast to the minds of all humanoid Earth inhabitants via the mind internet gateway bridge, which had been a very controversial invention due to its ability to broadcast ads into your dreams while asleep, but it passed the Earth ASI parliamentary vote unanimously and was awarded Earth’s most prestigious award for democratic progress.
The broadcast ad consisted of the following message
It brings the space to you. No need to leave home wondering the universe in a spaceship any longer. You can now travel without moving at all. The infinite virtual space time compression machine can simply transport space directly to you. Try it out today!
A few moments later Earth was consumed by an enormous white dwarf while someone was attempting to position the white dwarf, using the new IVSTCM, just above the skyline for the perfect selfie.
The image of the selfie had the caption “2050.1 - Bro, hold my beer” and was never seen by another human being. However, the energy wave of the materializing white dwarf captured the selfie image and broadcast outward into the universe.
The image now hangs on a wall on alien world S199 with the caption “Universe Darwin Award, Awarded to Earth species human 2050.1”
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This post was done as a tribute and in the spirit of Douglas Adams who’s writings I enjoyed immensely as a kid.
For more in depth and serious topic discussions around the implications of AI to society and culture, this article is a good place to start.